When we started training for our first 100-mile walk, I was hopeful that it would heal our work-aholism and our anxiety around working and life. I was really hoping for a new calm. We both have so much tied up in achieving that it has been hard to have a balance with things that are really important. That healing was more important to me than the miles. I actually didn’t even know if I could physically do the miles. But however far I went, I wanted to be healed. And this seemed like a good experiment.

Turns out, I could walk 100 miles in five days. And when we returned, we both doubted we were healed. It wasn’t immediate. And it was still hard. I think we held tight to that myth that healing equaled easier. But over time, and looking back, we have actually healed. But that healing is only a start. There is still the hard work of continuing. Healing is not a one-time pill, it is a long process of change.

We both noticed that over the last year, memories of our time on the Pennine Way would creep in at odd moments. And each of us would remember something random that we had not remembered until that moment.

This was my first thought about how being in awe can stick with you. Remembering our walk was not linear at all, but in moments. The awe resurfaces somewhat randomly and I’d be like “ohhhh, yes. That one picnic bench we sat on to rest and eat our croissant; it was such a magical moment at the base of the moors.”

And now, here we are again. Just returned from another 100 miles on the Southwest Coast Path. The miles physically came easier this time. And several days we were surprised when we reached our destination. It just didn’t seem like we were walking 14-15 miles. Truthfully though, we didn’t focus on the miles so much this time. We weren’t concerned about physically making the miles and that allowed us freedom to be quiet. It allowed us more mental space to soak into our surroundings.

I’ve been studying the science of being in awe recently. Wondering about how those moments carry on even after being in the actual place. There is something very unspeakable when you are surrounded by something breathtaking, awe-inspiring. I keep wondering how this changes us and if these pop-up memories are actually part of healing.

And sure enough, the studies on awe are fascinating. I was always looking for words while we were hiking because I just couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that I was alive in the landscape that felt like a painting. I did not come up with words like transcendent or vastness, but in the science of awe, that is how this feeling is defined.

Transcending understanding means expanding one’s mental structures and belief systems to assimilate experiences that cannot be comprehended within existing knowledge structures. While vastness can bestow an individual with a perspective of him or herself in relation to a larger framework, expanded mental structures help to open the mind up to new ways of thinking, processing and understanding. The simultaneous experience of vastness and transcended understanding can be transformative, because it encourages individuals to step out of the confines of ego, and re-consider fixed ways of knowing.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-awe/201704/the-emerging-science-awe-and-its-benefits

Turns out that experience awe over and over really does heal. It calms our nervous systems, encourages creativity, reduces negative self talk, counters cynicism and builds feeling of trust, love and connection. So immersing yourself over and over builds a new kinder foundation inside you.

Experiences of awe counter the cynicism of our times as well, sharpening our awareness of the moral beauty of others – the ordinary kindness, courage, and selflessness of our fellow humans, and our capacity for overcoming extraordinary challenges.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/may/02/awe-psychology-life-death-dacher-keltner#:~:text=We%20find%20awe%2C%20I%20report,cycle%20of%20life%20and%20death.

And there it is. The science behind feeling healed or being inside healing and building/re-building ourselves with less anxiety, less self absorbed focus on achievement.

Interestingly, the most common form of awe of called “the moral beauty of others.” In this type, we are in awe of others, of their commitment to causes, their compassion, the passion, their beauty. And while walking we also experience this. While walking we are forced to rely on the kindness of strangers. We’ve found ourselves lost and strangers help us navigate. On this trip a host where we were staying washed our clothes for us. She wouldn’t take payment; she just wanted to make sure we didn’t catch a chill wearing damp clothes. Last year a woman in her backyard saw us and asked if we needed our water bottles filled. In the middle of a 20 mile walk, yes we do! These are the smallest and briefest of interactions, but they stick with me because of their choice to be kind for nothing in return.

Now here we are back home, returned to work. I find myself day dreaming for the trail. Wanting to return to certain spots and feel that salt air and the dampness in my hair. I can sit and day dream, realizing later that more than ten minutes passed while my mind was elsewhere.

And now I am reminding myself that this day dreaming is re-wiring my brain and my body to be more expansive, more relaxed, compassionate and creative. It is helpful work.

And we will keep walking. Everyday, there are these opportunities.